Clash of Two Worlds
by toSempiternity
Summary: Percy never expected to see the "other" universe popping into his world of godly madness. Annabeth never expected that she was actually a pine tree. And Thalia certainly didn't expect an alter ego that was her best friend/worst enemy's half-sibling. AU.
1. Alter Egos and Confusion

**Okay! My first attempt at an AU universe...I think...it's rather hard to track all your stories down when you have nineteen of them, and your earliest was published in May 9th, 2011...whatever. I'm just rambling. On to the story, me!  
><em>WARNING<em>: The Heroes of Olympus never happened. Wow, that's another first...  
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><p><strong> One|Alter Egos and Confusion<strong>  
><em>Percy<em>

If I could ask for one thing from the Olympian gods, I would tell them to stop making my life a helluva "joyride".

You would think, that after history had completely repeated itself (a.k.a., the Second Titan War was complete), Olympus would actually give me _peace_ and quiet for once. But noooo, they just _had_ to interfere with my life for the billionth _bloody time_. Yes, I was so pissed that I actually used English language.

The day started out normally enough: Drew from Aphrodite was crying over a broken nail, the Apollo guys were shooting hoops, Demeter's kids were picking strawberries, Ares was dueling in the arena, and Travis and Connor Stoll were being very annoying. Totally normal.

And me? I was sitting with Annabeth by the lake, our arms wrapped around each other. We weren't really doing much, just sitting at the lake shore and staring into the water, watching the naiads practice the highly recommended sport of basket-weaving.

I cleared my throat, not enjoying the muted silence between us. "So...how's life?" Gods, that sounded stupid.

Annabeth bit her lip and yanked a piece of grass out of the dirt. "I...don't you feel like something's about to happen? Like, something _really_ bad that could alter our lives for the rest of eternity?"

"We've been there, done that," I commented, "when Kronos attacked us this summer."

Annabeth slapped me. "No! Not _that_ sort of problem...okay, never mind, maybe. But...I just have this feeling..."

I swallowed. "Don't tell me that your instincts are insisting that Kronos has returned."

The daughter of Athena exasperatedly sighed. "Percy, how many times must I say that _it isn't relevant to Kronos_ so that my remarks penetrate that thick skull of yours?" She knocked me on the head.

I self-consciously rubbed the sore spot and said sheepishly, "I wasn't really paying attention."

"Suuuure," Annabeth said sarcastically, wiggling her eyebrows.

"What?" I demanded, but before I could say, _"It's true!"_ the lake exploded beneath our feet.

Somehow, the whole camp managed not to hear the grade-A nuclear explosion, and kept right on playing basketball and attempting to mend their nails.

"_GODS ABOVE, APOLLO!_" a girl screamed loudly. She looked like a Hunter, but I'd never seen her before in my life. Maybe Thalia was actually visiting with new recruits...? That was very fanatical. I hadn't seen her in over three months, although she usually swung by with the Hunters once a month or so.

The girl struggled to her feet, spitting out sand. "Pah!" she spat, hacking out some more sand. For some reasons unknown, she passed out cold.

A guy's head popped up in the middle of the lake, and he spewed out a column of water. He had blond hair and gray eyes like Annabeth, although she was looking at him as if he were a ghost. "Ouch," he muttered, although I wasn't sure how I could hear him from that far away.

There was a shout from behind me, and Annabeth screamed as the human projectile known as Thalia tackled her from behind. I pulled Thalia off of Annabeth and said, "Now's a very bad time to come and visit." My statement was proven a second later when another girl materialized next to the passed-out kid. She waved her arms for a bit like she was trying to fly, and then landed on her back with an _Oof!_

"I see," Thalia weakly said, cautiously noting the passed-out girl, the befuddled kid, and the blond guy who was doggy paddling towards us. He sprang out of the water and, unexpectedly, tackled Thalia with a hug. "Gods, I thought that you were dead—"

"_Are you hitting on me__?_" came a strangled gasp from under the boy. I was now silently laughing. Thalia shoved the boy off of her, her face as bright red as the lava that is spewed out of the climbing wall. "_DON'T HIT ON ME!_"

Who knew that the demigods of Camp Half-Blood could be so ignorant?

The guy blinked and then blushed, sheepishly saying, "Oh...I thought that you were someone else."

"Yeah, thanks." Thalia muttered something that suspiciously sounded like, _Boys_.

The boy shifted and looked around, and noticed the two mental girls lying on the sand. Annabeth nudged me and whispered, "Is it just me, or does the Hunter really resemble me?"

"It's not just you," I murmured back. I looked at Thalia, who shook her head. "No new recruits. I have _no_ idea who she is."

Both girls woozily sat up, the previously unconscious one rubbing her eyes. "Oh, Hades, _where am I_?"

"Um...Camp Half-Blood," I put in.

Meanwhile, the blond dude was staring at the other girl. "I was looking all over for you!" he furiously said.

"Nice to know that you care about me," the girl answered dryly. "Although, I was at the strawberry fields. How could you _not_ see me, Percy?"

That freaked me out. _Okay_, I thought. _Plenty of demigods out there called Percy. It isn't my alter ego. Breath, Percy._

My hopeful theory was shattered when I heard the girl say again, "Honestly, you are such a dunce some times, Jackson. Seriously...you sometimes do _not_ act like a 'proper' son of Athena."

"Hey!" "Percy Jackson" objected.

Thalia's mouth dropped open as she gawked between me and Blond Dude. "Oh...my...freaking...Zeus!"

Annabeth looked just as shell-shocked with me. "Percy," she whispered in my ear, "I do not recall a time when you were _intelligent_."

Wow, those girls have _really_ got their priorities straight. My alter ego appears out of nowhere, and all they're worried about is whether I was _smart_ or not? I _am_ smart! (Okay, I admit...not really. But in _this_ case, I can't bear to have Athena as my mom. Sorry, wisdom goddess...)

"Great," "Percy" said, turning to us. "Who are you? I've never seen you at camp before."

"And neither have we," Annabeth retorted, an annoyed expression on her face. "Why don't you guys introduce yourselves first?"

"Percy" subconsciously glanced at the Hunter, who shrugged. "Fair enough. I don't care either way."

"Okay, then...I'm Percy Jackson, son of Athena."

Annabeth said, "I knew that the end of the world was coming."

"Hey!" I said, getting annoyed. "You said that this thing didn't have anything to do with Kronos, who _tried to end the world_!"

"I said _maybe_," Annabeth sighed.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Didn't!"

"Did!"

"Didn't!"

"_I SO DID SAY THAT!_"

"YOU—"

"Whoa." Thalia put herself in between us. "You two lovebirds stop arguing. It's going to harm your relationship, and then, Aphrodite's going to go on a rampage."

"She used to like you and Percy," Annabeth teased. Thalia turned pepperoni-red. "You did _not_ just go there!"

Annabeth, however, was on a roll, now that she had three very confused audience members and a groaning boyfriend to watch her humiliate Thalia. "Remember the time when the Aphrodite cabin challenged the whole camp to come up with name squashes for you? You and Percy were arguing for a week, and the official name actually turned out to be Perlia!"

"Percabeth to you, too," Thalia said heatedly.

"Oh, gods, and then, there was that time when Chiron punished you guys for staying out after curfew, and then Silena was all like, 'Chiron! Kitchen duty _totally_ does _not_ spell out romance!' And then..."

"Stop it!" I said loudly, because their meaningless banter was giving me a severe migraine, and I did _not_ need to hear about the story of the harpy, spatula, and bonsai tree again. "Stop it, please!"

"...Okay," the Hunter girl said uncertainly. "I'm..."

"I know who you are!" Thalia triumphantly guessed. "I'll bet my bow that you're Annabeth!"

Now, it was Annabeth and "Annabeth's" turn to look properly stunned. They regarded the person they were contemplating like the other was from Mars or something.

"Yeah, well, sucks to be you, Pinecone," I smugly said, looking at the last girl. Thalia glared at me.

"What?" I asked, raising my hands. "It just..."

"STOP RHYMING!"

"...funny. You know, 'Thalia Grace, Pinecone Face'—Apollo just _loves_ using that in his haikus."

"Get to the point, will you?" Thalia irritably began, but the last girl interrupted.

"First off," she said, obviously ticked, "I don't have a _pinecone_ for a _face_, thanks."

"Cheese Whiz," Thalia sardonically said, "you can't even take a _nickname_?" She directed the last word towards me, while I was silently laughing my head off. Oh, this should be good...Thalia and Thalia death glaring at each other.

I poked Annabeth to get her out of her stupor and whispered in her ear as both Thalias glared at the other, "I've got the popcorn."


	2. Charlie the Unicorn and the Bank of Evil

**Due to the large amount of confusion that occurs by the end of the first chapter, all the AU characters will be marked with a "asterisk"—like, Percy* is a son of Athena.  
>Thanks to my...three reviewers! At least I got three of them...it's better than none.<br>Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson, as much as I would like to. Ever wonder what would happen if you went into a time machine and brought the series with you, and published the series before Rick Riordan? Awesome...*sighs* Too bad there's no time machine yet. But you just wait.**

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><p><strong>Two|Charlie the Unicorn and the Bank of Evil Dude <strong>  
><em>Annabeth*<em>

I'm an expert on _weird_. I ran away when I was ten, got turned into a gods-forsaken pine tree at twelve, was spit out of the said tree (I don't taste _that_ bad, do I?) six years later at the tender age of fifteen, am immortal, and got Peacock Freak's statue dropped on my legs.

Sadly, I wasn't expecting the hoard of nice pretty blue lights that decided to kidnap me, drag me very unceremoniously through a couple of dimensions (perfectly normal...) and toss me into the lake of this alternate "Camp Half-Blood" that I didn't even know existed. Everybody in this universe was totally messed up.

Like, Percy's* supposed to be smart, right? In _this_ world, his alter ego was as dumb as a clump of seaweed, which was understandable, because _he_ was a son of Poseidon. That didn't bode too well with me, because the Percy* from _my_ world...well, I had traveled with him for about six or eight months when he was seven? Yes, and he* wasn't a son of Barnacle Beard. Now, I had to put up with a guy who resembled Thalia* too much for my comfort zone.

As I'm on the subject of Thalia*...well, it was bad enough that she was my cousin in my reality, wasn't she? I admit, I had imagined what would happen if she were my half-sister. Well, Annabeth*: question answered. Percy and Thalia actually got into more fights than me and Thalia* (gods, that sounds strange) did, which is a very hard thing to do. At least...that's what my other self told me. Apparently, Percy brought an unlit cigarette to camp once, and Chiron totally freaked out, sternly reprimanding Percy on the "safety and healthfulness" of his lungs. Thalia somehow had a match on her—what a coincidence!—and "accidentally" lit the cigarette. It took...oh, only about five months to repair the first floor of the Big House after Percy fumbled and dropped. The whole camp stank of tobacco for a week, and finally, Chiron had to call the mortal Health Department (which, while they were at it, gave the Delphi Strawberry Services headquarters an "**F**" in sanitation and cleanliness) because half of the satyrs were coming down with bronchitis. Ha-ha...how exactly do you get bronchitis from _second-hand cigarette smoke_? Shouldn't it be, like, lung cancer?

Percy* had always teased me that I had no brains when it came to battle strategy—which was _totally_ not true. (He just didn't see the time when we played Capture the Flag.) Obviously, since our places were all switched—Percy* was a son of Poseidon, Thalia* was (somehow) a daughter of Zeus, that leaves _my_ other self with a mom as Athena. Great, not only was a tree, but I was a braniac as well. Just wonderful. Percy* nor his consort would ever let me hear the end of it.

There. I'm done with descriptions. Let's get on to the popcorn and argument.

It started with petty name calling and ended up with Percy and Thalia frozen in a block of ice and Percy* and Thalia* woozily turning around in circles, their clothes dripping and smoking at the same time. A stray spark of electricity came off from Percy's* hair. Percy didn't look thrilled to be locked in the solid form of water. He appeared to be straining to break free of the ice block. He locked eyes with Annabeth and seemed to plead: _Save me!_

In fact, Annabeth and I were the only ones that didn't do battle at the crime scene. (Ha-ha...obvious, much?)

Annabeth marched over and experimentally tapped the iceberg. "How in _Athena's name_ did you even get frozen in there?"

"Weren't you paying attention?" I conversationally asked. "Percy* saw the movie _Despicable Me_, fell in love with it, and made that ice ray gun thing that Gru had, in which those three little girls froze him in a chunk of ice in front of the Bank of Evil dude. Percy*, apparently, had it and shot it, but not before _your_ Percy doused both Percy* and Thalia* in water—who, by the way, wasn't expecting the very large wave—and _her_ other, more likable personality shocked the Hades out of them."

"...Interesting," Annabeth said, not sounding very interested as she clambered to the top of the cube and clubbing it with the butt of her knife. "But very confusing. Come—on—you—gods—forsaken—thing—break—already!"

Thalia*, being the very clumsy person she is, stumbled over and accidentally bonked herself on the head by running into the large ice block. Too bad; she didn't have any brain cells to spare. She ambled away, muttering something that sounded like, "Cheese."

Annabeth gave it another try, and then began to futilely carve chunks of ice away from the block that Magellanic penguins would adore. After what must have been twenty minutes—with still no change from Percy* or Thalia*—during where the point of extreme boredom for me had set in, so I was playing Plants vs. Zombies, the whole thing collapsed onto itself, Percy falling on top of Thalia, with Annabeth toppling onto Percy's back.

An earsplitting screech resounded through camp as Percy* tripped over the three-human pyramid, which was wriggling, and Thalia* knocked into him a second later. Thalia screamed, "_ZEUS ABOVE, have you freaking demigods ever heard of low-calorie dieting?_ GETOFFME!"

"Uuhhhh?" somebody muttered from her back. "You know, this is surprisingly comfy. Wake me up when September ends."

Well, it was June.

"It's not that," I told her as Thalia bristled, "it's just the combined weight of about five hundred pounds, give or take that's breaking your back."

"Oh, and that's supposed to make me feel better?" Thalia spat, still writhing. "I do _not_ need to relive Hera's freaking statue on me again! And this time, it's my FRICKIN' BACKBONE! Nobody wants to be paralyzed for life!"

I offered, "I have ambrosia." I paused, and then considered, "All you have to do is..."

"PUT A BANANA IN YOUR EAR!" Percy cheered. Son of Poseidon. Hm. As far as I knew, Poseidon's fruit wasn't the banana, unless his idiot of a son was quoting Charlie the Unicorn.

"I _meant_ to say," I said, shooting a nasty look at Percy, "all you have to do is..."

"_PUT A BANANA IN YOUR EAR! YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY IF YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE IN FEAR!_"

"...shock them into oblivion," I suggested.

Thalia seemed to be considering this for a while. "You know," she said at last as four unfortunate demigods were blasted into the lake, "you're actually not an idiot."

I was shocked. "Since when was I _ever?_ Even my other self is smart!"

"That's understandable," Thalia replied. "Annabeth's a daughter of Athena. And I'm admitting it myself: children of the Big Three aren't known for their brains."

I snorted, "Than what is it? Their brawn? This is you, me, and those two clumps of idiotic, kelpish matter we're talking about here."

"Perhaps, our brashness. That's more Ares material. I was thinking more on the lines of impulsive."

I rolled my eyes and said, "Most demigods are ADHD."

"No, I mean our tendency to do stupid things at stupid times. You catch my drift?"

"Nope."

"...I take it back. You are an idiot."


End file.
